Once upon a time, while I was in college, there lived (on my hall) a darling, funny and very well liked girl…let’s call her Darla. Before arriving at college, Darla had traveled to Asia and fallen in love with a fruit called Jack. Actually, its called jackfruit. Anyway….she returned to the US and arrived at college missing her beloved Jackfruit and telling others all about his sweet taste and exotic appearance.
Meanwhile, a girl so sweet you would think she had come down from the heavens, who we will appropriately call Celeste, had initiated a fun tradition that she called “exotic fruit Sundays.” Dedicating every Sunday to tasting a new exotic fruit. After hearing Darla’s heart breaking jakfruit laments, It seemed logical to Celeste that she could help by finding a Jackfruit for exotic fruit Sunday. Unfortunately she couldn’t find a jackfruit…… just an evil imposter…… THE DURIAN!!!!!! You see, Celeste had never tasted or seen a jackfruit, but based on the verbal description she got from Darla, it seemed a possibility that the durian and jackfruit were one and the same.
What Celeste didn’t know:
“durian = stinky fruit
Notes: The weird and smelly durian has attracted a cult-like following. It’s called the King of Fruits by aficionados in Southeast Asia, but Westerners usually don’t care much for its mild oniony flavor. Once cut open, the durian gives off such a strong and foul odor that it’s banned on Singaporean subways. Look for it in Asian markets.” ~ The Cook’s Thesaurus, Lori Alden
Ummm…..Don’t look for it in Asian markets. To put it in Darla’s words rather than Lori’s “it tastes like butt onion” You don’t want to try it. Even though it may be the fruit equivalent of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, don’t let your curiosity get the best of you in this case.
Now back to our story:
After happily purchasing the Durian, Celeste brought it back to the college dorms to show Darla. Still happy and hopeful, Celeste and Darla somehow managed to open it and they each took one solitary bite (spoon full to be exact), grimaced, made a few sounds and comments of disgust, and threw the rest of the giant wretched thing away. But not before allowing me the opportunity to taste.
However, I didn’t get as far as Darla and Celeste. Fueled by the fear I experienced after witnessing their reactions (I didn’t know there was a fruit on the planet that could cause such a strong and negative reaction) my mouth refused to let even the smallest bit of durian in. The minute the spoon touched my tongue, it started to tingle slightly and so I retreated. In the durian’s defense, I do have a number of allergies to fresh uncooked fruits and vegetable. And for once, they may have actually saved me.
So as it turns out….the only thing the Durian is good for (in my humble westerner opinion) is not consumption but amusement. Durians aren’t yummy, they’re funny.
You should also note that one of the youtube comments following this video reads
“I almost threw up in my mouth a little just recalling the flavor of that fruit. It’s like rotten garlic mixed with rotten goat cheese. And when I say rotten I don’t mean a few days have passed since the expiration date”